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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

MNF - Tony Cornholer Alert...

"The National Ass-Whip Broadcasters Service (NAWBS) has issued an "Ass-Whip Alert" for the areas within broadcasting radius of Tony Cornheiser. The conditions are favorable for a Category 4 Ass Whip, conditions which are expected to last for the next 16+ weeks."

OK, I'm not one who normally complains about (hell, even NOTICES) the announcers. As a lifelong Cowboy fan, I expected to hate Ron Jaworski and Joe Theismann as football broadcasters. Now, Jaws is one of my favorites and Theismann doesn't suck on most nights.

I noticed the tide turning during the World Cup. Marcelo Balboa, noted spare on a spare US soccer team, became a noted spare broadcaster during the World Cup this summer...almost ruining my enjoyment of The Beautiful Game's biggest stage. I asked myself: Why am I allowing this guys inability to tell me about the game ruin my enjoyment of the game itself?

I haven't figured out an answer to the question "why", but Tony Cornholer is threatening to do the same with my beloved Monday Night Football. If he can't contain that tremendous lack of personality, the spine-piercing references to fantasy football, and the stench of poor chemistry between him and actual humans, I might stab myself in the eardrum with an icepick.

I fear that more is to come on this topic...


Blogger Scott Boswell said...

Kornheiser also has the disadvantage of being the ugliest man on TV. Not that I'm into that sort of stuff, but I'm just saying...

8:30 AM  

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