The Life of Terrell Owens- As told by a Kindergardener
Today I got picked to be on a 49er team. I hope it is warm in California because I like to wear shorts.
Mr. Marriucci isn’t nice to me. He told me I was immature and to go away. I am happy because he moved away. We have a new man named Dennis. I don’t know if I like him yet.
I do not like it here. Jeff doesn’t want to play with me and only plays with the other guys. He seems to REALLY like the other guys. He hurts my feelings so I called him a bad word. Dennis made me sit in time out because I didn't behave good. I yelled at him and he didn't like it.
Jeff’s dad said Jeff and me can’t play together anymore. I met a boy named Donavan. He lets me play with him on his team. We are best friends. Sometimes when it is cold his mom gives us some soup. His mom lets us stay up late to play video games. It is fun. Sometimes I ride my bike past Donavan's house but he isn't home.
Some girl showed me her boobies and I was on TV!!! They were nice. Donavan was mad at me for looking at the girl’s boobies but I don’t care. I think he wants to see her boobies too but his mom won’t let him.
Today Donavan didn’t share the ball with me. I told Donavan why don’t you share? Donavan said he was sorry to some people and we are friends again.
A man named Roy hurt me today. He hit me and hurt my leg. I tried to catch the ball but he was mean and pushed me to the ground. The doctor says I can’t play for a while. I am sad. :(
Donavan is not my friend anymore. I told him that I wanted to play with Brett because he was mean to me. He called me a name and it hurt my feelings. I want to run away and live somewhere else.
The Eagles won't let me play anymore because I don't act good but I don't care because they are all poop heads. Especially Donavan.
My friend Drew is good. Some bad people tried to make me sad but he told them to leave me alone. Drew doesn't like to answer questions.
I met a man named Tuna today. He is nice. He bought me ice cream and a soda. He gave me a lot of dollars and said that he has guys that will play with me not like Donavan. I am happy. :)
Mr. Jerry came to visit me this evening. I fell in love with him on his jet plane. He said I look good in the shower. Must be all those sit ups I’ve been doing in my front lawn.