Dallas Sports Powerhouse






Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Sooners: Chapter 2 versus 7 - 28

Stoops took some clay from the ground and made the shape of a man. Then he breathed gently into the shape. The man's eye's opened and he began to live. Stoops called him AD.

Stoops provided a beautiful turf for him to play on. The stadium, called Gaylord family Memorial stadium, was full of many wonderful things such as toothless rednecks. Season tickets were sold out. The $7 Nachos came in two varieties of cheese sauce. Shirts and shoes were not required.

Stoops had made AD in his image to keep him company and score touchdowns for his Sooners.

But Stoops felt sorry for AD. "None of these players are really like him," thought Stoops, "he needs someone to replace Jason White. Someone who can handoff to him or catch him on a screen."

That night, Stoops took a rib from AD's side and made Bomar. When AD awoke the following morning, he found Bomar, lying asleep at the locker beside him. AD was so happy. He looked up at Bomar and smiled.

Stoops told AD and Bomar that it was their job to win football games. Stoops blessed them, saying, "All this is for you. Help yourself to anything you like. But do not take improper benefits from boosters. That will give you the ability to buy bling. If you do, you will surely be kicked off the football team."

One day, Bomar was gassing up a vehicle when he heard a silky voice behind him. "Has Stoops told you that you can't take any money?" the voice asked softly. Bomar turned around to see Brad McRae talking to him.

"Stoops has told us we can't earn any money for hours we didn't work," Bomar told McRae.

"Oh come now, that's silly! I hardly think such improper benefits harm anyone," McRae lied. "Stoops knows that if you take extra money you will be able to buy the things you want. Here take this paycheck."

Bomar looked at the paycheck and thought of all the things he could do with it. He thought how wonderful it would be to be as rich and powerful as Stoops. He believed McRae's lie and took the money.

He felt a strange feeling in the pit of him stomach. He fidgeted and wondered what was wrong with him. Suddenly he realized that he was feeling guilty -- he had disobeyed Stoops and knew he'd done something wrong.

Bomar hurriedly picked up his check and took a Lexus back to AD. As soon as they enjoyed their benefits a change came over AD and Bomar. They became unhappy and fearful of Stoops.

AD and Bomar heard Stoops calling them. Without thinking, AD revved up his Lexus and tried to make a getaway down I-35, but Stoops knew where they were and put tire spikes on the road. When Stoops asked them if they had received improper benefits, they blamed each other for their sins.

Stoops was sad that AD and Bomar had disobeyed them. He told AD that he would have to sit out 2 plays against a non-conference opponent. He told Bomar that he would have to leave the Gaylord stadium forever. "From now on you'll be banished from the state of Oklahoma. You'll have to live on wages you earn at Baby Gap. Nothing will come easily -- not touchdowns, glory or respect. And one day, you will be the starting quarterback for Sam Houston State."


Blogger Jason Patlan said...

Someone please tell me again why the individual coaches and players are not being punished? I know the verdict is not in from the NCAA, but from what I'm hearing from SHS (Sam Houston State, not Some High School - but they ARE in the same district) is that they only expect him to be "unavailable" for a few games.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Scott Boswell said...

Sort of the lines of my parody.

Bomar touched the forbidden fruit. He could assault his girlfriend, smoke some weed or do other unscrupulous acts. But, he CANNOT take improper benefits.

With that in mind, why would the NCAA allow him to return? That's not how society works. If you expose yourself to children you have killed your chance to be an elementary school teacher. In the same manner, if you have broken the cardinal rule of college football, right or wrong, you should no longer be allowed to play college football.

11:20 AM  

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