Church Chat with Bill Parcells

Church Lady: Hello, I'm the Church Lady and this is Church Chat.

Well, it's been a few days since the Cowboys played the Redskins. What a delightful little game of football it was. Let's take a look at it shall we? Fathers cover their daughters in face paint and parade them around the stadium like little blue and silver harlots gyrating their naughty parts to the delight of TV cameras and jumbotrons. "Look at me mommy! I'm a little soft pretzel slut in a devil mask!" And my, my, my...what do we have here? Why it's the little jezebel of the Dallas Cowboys, William Parcells.

Bill Parcells: Thanks for having me on Church Lady. Bill would be fine.

CL: Well, we're just the little buttercup now aren't we? It's so nice of you to drag yourself away from your Sin-day...pardon me...Sunday playtime to chat with us.

BP: Uh, no problem. I just show up when I'm told to...

CL: Oh, that's right. Instead of choosing to worship our Lord, we are the proprietor of sweaty little men snapping each other on the buttocks with locker room towels just in time for Sunday brunch. We do a good job of putting the college athlete in front of the Bible College now don't we? Juuuust push the baby Jesus aside and go right to our Satan work. We just call ourselves a Catholic when it's conveeeeenient.

BP: Look lady, I don't make the schedules. How DARE you imply that I...

CL: Oh, we're quite the little intimidator aren't we? Newsflash: Not afraid. Let's just keep our mouth nice, tight and buttoned for just a second. Now Billy, your team put on quite the little show this week didn't they?

BP: Ahem. We still have some areas of concern, but overall I'm happy with the way we played...

CL: Well, isn't that special? It seems as if the sinning...sorry...signing...of Mr. T.O. has been quite the little peach for you. Looks like Mr. Jones succumbed to a little demonic temptation now hasn't he?

BP: I'm not sure...

CL: I remember that Jesus was tempted one time but I can't seem to recall who it was by. Let me think here for just one second. Now, who could that be? Could it be...SATAN?

Hit it Pearl!